Kim Jong-un

Not to be outdone by his father:

Kim Jong-un puts his pants on three legs at a time.

Kim Jong-un can do one armed push-ups as well as one legged jumping jacks.

Kim Jong-un’s record in the long jump is on-going.

Kim Jong-un can build an Igloo out of fire. 

Everytime Kim Jong-un opens a fortune cookie it contains $5 million. 

Kim Jong-un can get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop in under one lick.

Kim Jong-un has dissidents hanged on his every word.

In North Korea’s Dancing with the Stars,Kim Yong-un always wins with his partner Alpha Centauri. 

It takes a village to raise child, but only Kim Jong-un to raze a village. 

It only takes Kim Jong-un 3.3 seconds to change a tire – into sunshine. 

Kim Jong-un’s voice is so powerful it echoes underwater.

Kim Jong-un owns a fabrege chicken

Kim Jong-un bested his father’s drive of 574 yards by hitting a ball 585 yards with a tire iron.

Kim Jong-un is so good at math, he built a Log Base E cabin. 

Kim Jong-un can turn a molehill into a mountain range. 

Kim Jong-un once robbed a hitter of a home run in left field despite the fact that he was playing catcher. 

When Kim Jon-un plays Gauntlet, the game doesn’t complain when he takes all the food. 

Kim Jong-un can do the same thing over and over and get a different result each time.

Kim Jong-un’s computer is the only one in North Korea with an “esc” key. 

Kim Jong-un rides a pommel horse in dressage.  In gymnastics, he pummels the horse.

Kim Jong-un’s hide-and-seek playmates have never been found. 

Kim Jong-un can transmit a fax through a soup can telephone.

Kim Jong-un’s pulse is measured in beatings per minute. 

When playing monopoly, Kim Jong-un is paid $200 when his opponents pass Go. 

Parcheesi is Kim Jon Un’s favorite Water Board Game. 

Kim Jong-un can impregnate women via oral sex. 

In gym class as a child, Kim Jong-Il could climb the rope using only his feet. 

Kim Jong-un’s finishing move is just the beginning.

Kim Jong-un bid one dollar and won both showcases. 

Kim Jong-un won on Jeopardy by phrasing all of his responses in the form of the SAME question. 

Kim Jong-un’s testes descended four minutes after conception.

Kim Jong-un has a trophy case case. 

Kim Jong-un got a technical foul for hanging somebody from the rim. 

Kim Jong-un killed Colonel Mustard in the Hall with the Billiard Room. 

Kim Jong-un does not permit two way mirrors in North Korea. All mirrors are his way. 

Kim Jong-un can recycle water with his bare hands. 

As a high school quarterback, Kim Jong-un once threw an interception to himself and returned it for a touchdown.

Letter related puzzles are banned in North Korea, as Kim Jong-un won’t let anyone utter a crossword.

Kim Jong-un can train rats to create mazes. 


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